Podworld News

So I had lost my latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. It was sad. I looked everywhere. Well, I thought I had, anyway. Then the other night I opened the sliding doors to check on the coffee plants, you know, make sure they didn't need anything (water, more specifically). In the pot of one of the trees was my issue of EW. I'm pretty sure I know how it happened, but I'd prefer to think that my trees share my interests and were sitting there in the sun reading to each other about this week's important entertainment news. Oh yes. I know it's true.

So, like, straif reminded me that I was coming home (to MA, which, if you didn't know that little fact probably means this doesn't apply to you) this coming weekend. And we usually do a dinner thing on this, one of the holiest weekends of my social life. No, I won't be attending services, but there will be homemade ravioli or gnocchi, so for me, it counts. So anyway... yeah, we should do that, the dinner thing I mean. I'm guessing this is the Bugaboo Creek traditional dinner, unless someone has a better idea (we could try Chef Orient, a little something for everyone there, if it's still open, I mean, it's not like I'm there to look). Anyway, if you want to come, either comment or email me. I'll respond within... 48 hours, yeah.

Well... this will seem odd, but I figured it'd be an interesting exercise in self-reflection. So. Here we go... unsent letters to exes. Mind you, I'm only writing them now, but I figure the perspective of being, uh, a more mature person will make it more interesting. They're from all different time periods (ie, not in order), and I'm not saying specifically who any of them are. Technically though, some of them were just guys I dated, not quite boyfriends, and one of them, he's just a guy...


( Unsent letters... )

Heh. No one else will find this anywhere near as amusing as I do.

EDIT: d2leddy points out that it's about endings and loss, and as such is sad. Which is kind of as it should be. Though there are a few that aren't all that sad.

Much though I don't post often now, this had to be posted. Oh, and I stole it from sidruid, who pays attention to the news. The basic gist... Cane toads must be stopped.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4242107.stm

I won't go into the whole explanation of why I find it all fascinating, but suffice it to say that bioinvasion is totally a hot topic for me, and that movie Cane Toads: An Unnatural History is always good.

So on New Year's DAY I'm having a party-like thing. Starts at 2 pm and goes until later... much later. So, yeah, people who want to come, stop by.

There'll be food, munchies, etc. It'll be fun. So stop by!

Okay, so I watched Before Sunset again today. I love this movie, I seriously do. Loved it even more the second time. I mean, I wanted to see it when first I heard of it, and I liked Before Sunrise but… I don’t know, I didn’t expect to really love it. Something about it just strikes me. Went out and got it the day it came out on DVD, and oh my. It speaks to me. Much of it is things I have/would say in my own life. And I recognize the striving… the wanting of intimacy maybe? I don’t know. I could express it, but it’s easier in person. The odd thing is that I know no one else who’s seen it. I know what, one person on LJ who has. And I want to talk about it!

Anyway, it made me think, as it did last time, and probably will each time I watch it. Thinking about what I actually want out of relationships, out of love, out of life. It’s like I know what pieces are good, but the puzzle is incomplete. It’s easier to say what you don’t want. I don’t want to be marginalized, I don’t want it to be an inherently unequal thing where one person is so into it and happy, and the other just… isn’t. I don’t want what my parents have, just no. But if that is the major basis for my own relationships, am I going to end up going that way anyway? I want connection, is that so much to ask? But maybe it is, maybe I only imagine that it can be there, that there can be deep connections that way. Maybe movies and books and such make it seem like it’s possible. But does anyone ever consider what happens after the end? Perhaps I’m just pessimistic, but it seems that a lot of romantic comedies fuel the romance with conflict, then poof! Everything is good. Everyone is happy. So what? The conflict goes away? The people are changed? People change constantly in some ways, but not in others. (Incidentally, Before Sunset was not like that, everyone should watch it, truly)

So I sit here after watching this movie, thinking various thoughts... Can/do people have that kind of connection in real life? I take it for granted that they do, but will I ever? Mysteries of life, I suppose.

So the last two days, both digriz and tanaise have said how every time they read sinfest, they think of me. (which is a nice compliment... mostly) Anyway, for the first time in a long time I actually went to the website and they have 2 book collections available!!! Oh, they must be mine! They will be mine! I will have them and I will gloriously be part of the mass consumerism that is part and parcel of American culture. Maybe I'll wait till after the holidays (because money spent now is supposed to be non-self-centered) but I will have it!!! Oh yes, Sinfest collections will be mine and I will be all kinds of yay! Yeah. So now I have an early new year's resolution. I don't have to think of any other ones. I'm set! Woo!

Well I'm back in the greater NYC area once again. Unlike the majority of people, only about an hour of my drive back sucked, and it took me about the same amount of time to get back here from MA as it always does. Though it took less than it generally does on holidays for me which was very nice. I did leave later than normal, which pretty much always makes my life easier. There was rain, it was annoying, but it eased up by Hartford, then stopped completely thereafter. Yay!

Anyway, the trip was nice. I saw many people, did many things, watched much tv. Okay, yes, I know that tv should not be in the same category, but it really was. If anything, I think getting used to not being able to turn on the tv at my house will be the worst thing about coming back here. It was great to see people though, really, really great! Had so much fun! And it was nice to be able to just be somewhere and not... do anything. Not that I didn't do anything, I mean, I baked, I spent time with people, I tolerated family events, etc. But still. Coming back was weird. The drive wasn't hideous, I wasn't starving during it as usually happens. I got home and unloaded my car and had some cereal and was halfway unpacked by 9:30 pm. The coffee trees didn't fare too well with the lowered temperature in the house, guess I learned my lesson there. The poor, poor coffee trees lost 20 leaves. Anyway, I put the firewood into the log ring on the deck, debated lighting a fire, then realized how quiet my condo is comparatively. It started unnerving me. There's no traffic noise, and the heat doesn't come on that often and even when it does there's no scary clanking noises, and there are no people noises. And as much as I was glad to be back here, it's lonely without other people around and a dog following me everywhere I go. So that was kind of weird.

But then I started thinking about everything, and about a conversation sidruid* and I were having the other night. He pointed out that I seem happy now, definitely happier than I was last year, and probably happier than I've been in a few years. Thinking on it, I realized he's right. The job is going well, the money issues are slowly (oh so slowly) being resolved, I'm healthier in a general sort of way, and I'm happier with how I look and feel. I mean, not everything is perfect, and there've certainly been some very down moments, even recently, but... yeah. So there's definitely room for improvement in my life but I guess I am happy, even if my house will seem a bit empty until I get used to it again. That seems so... different. :)

*sidruid is having a b-day party this saturday. Everyone should go.

So I'm in MA. Actually, I've been here since Saturday, laying low. I'm not really doing anything... I mean, I have vague plans to see people, but I've been a bit lax on the planning. My cell doesn't work well in the house, so it's kind of slowing me down.

So really, I'm here, not having to work all week (yay!) and my parents dog follows me everywhere I go. I'm talking room to room, couch to chair, that sort of thing. It's a bit disconcerting. And she wants to be petted, and right now my fingernails are wet with a lovely purple nail polish. What to do???

Other than that... let's see. I've baked a bit, I've gone shopping, I've watched some dvds and quality tv programming. Someone gave me a cd as a 'happy promotion' present, which was cool. Oh! And my mom decided to give me some early christmas gifts and buy me some new pants suitable for wearing to work. So exciting to have clothes that look good!!! It's been depressing me no end, seriously. And I cut my hair. I so look stylin' now.

I still haven't figured out when I'm coming back to NJ. My official half & half job thing starts on Monday though, so definitely before then. Supposedly there's this kickass party in NJ on Saturday, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to make that. Oh, my life is difficult... okay, so it's not. It probably will be once I get back to work though. ;)

So a quick poll. I already think I know what my decision is, but tanaise told me I should make more polls (don't worry, my paid thingy ends in like, 2 weeks, so it won't last long) and that this would make an ideal subject.

( The reason for the poll, for those who don't just click buttons... )

Short version... I will have money to do something with, and that something is not to include paying off my student loans. What should I do with it? And no, giving it to people isn't going to be the answer I go with. ;)

[Poll #385709]