(no subject)
Jun. 30th, 2004 10:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
podlingSo tomorrow is the anniversary of the closing on my condo. Part of me wants to invite people over this weekend to celebrate. But then the busy during the week part of me thinks that organizing such an undertaking would be more effort than I can put forth. So, anyway, if anyone wants to come by, you should do that.
Anyway, back to the anniversary. A lot can happen in a year. A lot did happen in a year. Tonight is a good night. I’m sitting on my deck in the half light, watching fireflies flit across the lawn and in the trees. Last year on the 30th, I was freaking out about the closing, and about redecorating, and about moving, and about living on my own.
I’ll sum up for those who don’t want to read the cut-tagged stuff. Overall, even with the low points of this past year, I’m happy. It’s all good.
My first experience with living alone hadn’t gone well, so I had reason to be nervous. I still vividly remember the bleakness of that time, and I just didn’t want to revisit that. But my life was, and is, different than that, in a different place. Plus,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
astrophysicat hadn’t really been around much during June, so in a way, I was already half in a trial living alone situation.
In the past year, I’ve lost 20 pounds. My hair has gotten longer, then a lot shorter. I’ve gotten serious about some health issues that I have (though the resulting out of pocket expense has been kind of hard to take). I’ve tried to eat better. I’ve given up both soda and caffeine on a regular basis. I’ve become a regular player of DDR. I’ve done more community theater stuff, made new friends there. I’ve learned a lot about the politics of the workplace, how to navigate it, and where I think I want to go careerwise. I’ve worked out a plan to decrease and eventually be free of credit card debt, and to get my finances moving along nicely. I think I gained some measure of self-esteem too. I feel more solid now, grounded.
I’ve adapted to the new place. I still miss some things about living in Milltown. Everything was literally right there. I still haven’t really gotten to know the further south area that well. I miss my huge bathroom with water pressure that could, and once did, give me a black eye. I miss having closet space, wherein things could be put and not be seen. This place is lacking in storage space… eventually, when I can afford it, I’ll get a small storage rental unit, and keep seasonal stuff there. I really still miss having cable, quite a bit. I’ve resigned myself to waiting for dvds of shows that I loved to watch every week.
However, all that being said… I do love my place. I sit outside some mornings and realize how happy-making it all is. I’m content here. And there are things I really do like about this place… The fireplace in winter. The back porch in pretty much all the other seasons. The colors I painted everything… my room is such a warm place to wake up in. The way that my blue candles hang in the center of the apartment. The pool and hot tub in the clubhouse. The sound of insects, with the distant sound of traffic in the background at night. The darkness here, versus the always bright as day Milltown downtown.
I even like the location in a way… as much as I miss the convenience of living 5 minutes away from almost everything in East Brunswick (including the turnpike), the fact is that I’m not really that far away. It takes me 5 minutes longer to get to IHOP, big freaking whoop. It takes about 5 minutes more to get to downtown New Brunswick. Honestly, I can live with that.
Oddly, I do like living alone, in some ways. I miss having a roommate, but… yeah. In a way, it’s nice. It’s kind of weird, it’s… not harder, exactly, but different, when I’m in a stressed or upset mood, there’s no one actually *there* to talk to, to vent with, to joke around with. So basically it takes more effort on the part of me to go out, plan stuff, and get out, do social things, reach out to people when I need it. At some points I’ve withdrawn instead, and I’m not sure that’s really the way to go in general. It’s kind of like I just let it slip at certain points.
But there were other reasons for the withdrawal too. My workplace has gone through serious, substantial, and not altogether happy changes over the past year. My job, likewise. It seems to be finally evening out again, or at least, the constant change has recently changed in ways that I at least find interesting and challenging, rather than just seeming… well, let’s not go there. Anyway, work isn’t always evil, but the stress level… yeah, I should chill a bit.
So looking forward then… most of it is finance related, I suppose. There’s my materialistic side come out again. Next year I’d like to be able to travel again. I’d like to get my finances to the point where I can travel far, far away without feeling horribly guilty about the money. I’d like to be at a point this time next year where if I feel that I want to move, I can. Next year this time, I’d like to have gotten into the training program I’m shooting for at work. Oh yes, and next year this time, I’d also like to have a crazymonkeylover. ;)
Anyway, back to the anniversary. A lot can happen in a year. A lot did happen in a year. Tonight is a good night. I’m sitting on my deck in the half light, watching fireflies flit across the lawn and in the trees. Last year on the 30th, I was freaking out about the closing, and about redecorating, and about moving, and about living on my own.
I’ll sum up for those who don’t want to read the cut-tagged stuff. Overall, even with the low points of this past year, I’m happy. It’s all good.
My first experience with living alone hadn’t gone well, so I had reason to be nervous. I still vividly remember the bleakness of that time, and I just didn’t want to revisit that. But my life was, and is, different than that, in a different place. Plus,
astrophysicat hadn’t really been around much during June, so in a way, I was already half in a trial living alone situation. In the past year, I’ve lost 20 pounds. My hair has gotten longer, then a lot shorter. I’ve gotten serious about some health issues that I have (though the resulting out of pocket expense has been kind of hard to take). I’ve tried to eat better. I’ve given up both soda and caffeine on a regular basis. I’ve become a regular player of DDR. I’ve done more community theater stuff, made new friends there. I’ve learned a lot about the politics of the workplace, how to navigate it, and where I think I want to go careerwise. I’ve worked out a plan to decrease and eventually be free of credit card debt, and to get my finances moving along nicely. I think I gained some measure of self-esteem too. I feel more solid now, grounded.
I’ve adapted to the new place. I still miss some things about living in Milltown. Everything was literally right there. I still haven’t really gotten to know the further south area that well. I miss my huge bathroom with water pressure that could, and once did, give me a black eye. I miss having closet space, wherein things could be put and not be seen. This place is lacking in storage space… eventually, when I can afford it, I’ll get a small storage rental unit, and keep seasonal stuff there. I really still miss having cable, quite a bit. I’ve resigned myself to waiting for dvds of shows that I loved to watch every week.
However, all that being said… I do love my place. I sit outside some mornings and realize how happy-making it all is. I’m content here. And there are things I really do like about this place… The fireplace in winter. The back porch in pretty much all the other seasons. The colors I painted everything… my room is such a warm place to wake up in. The way that my blue candles hang in the center of the apartment. The pool and hot tub in the clubhouse. The sound of insects, with the distant sound of traffic in the background at night. The darkness here, versus the always bright as day Milltown downtown.
I even like the location in a way… as much as I miss the convenience of living 5 minutes away from almost everything in East Brunswick (including the turnpike), the fact is that I’m not really that far away. It takes me 5 minutes longer to get to IHOP, big freaking whoop. It takes about 5 minutes more to get to downtown New Brunswick. Honestly, I can live with that.
Oddly, I do like living alone, in some ways. I miss having a roommate, but… yeah. In a way, it’s nice. It’s kind of weird, it’s… not harder, exactly, but different, when I’m in a stressed or upset mood, there’s no one actually *there* to talk to, to vent with, to joke around with. So basically it takes more effort on the part of me to go out, plan stuff, and get out, do social things, reach out to people when I need it. At some points I’ve withdrawn instead, and I’m not sure that’s really the way to go in general. It’s kind of like I just let it slip at certain points.
But there were other reasons for the withdrawal too. My workplace has gone through serious, substantial, and not altogether happy changes over the past year. My job, likewise. It seems to be finally evening out again, or at least, the constant change has recently changed in ways that I at least find interesting and challenging, rather than just seeming… well, let’s not go there. Anyway, work isn’t always evil, but the stress level… yeah, I should chill a bit.
So looking forward then… most of it is finance related, I suppose. There’s my materialistic side come out again. Next year I’d like to be able to travel again. I’d like to get my finances to the point where I can travel far, far away without feeling horribly guilty about the money. I’d like to be at a point this time next year where if I feel that I want to move, I can. Next year this time, I’d like to have gotten into the training program I’m shooting for at work. Oh yes, and next year this time, I’d also like to have a crazymonkeylover. ;)
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no subject
Date: 2004-06-30 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 04:49 am (UTC)Though to be fair, there were a lot of points when I thought I'd made a mistake, or wasn't sure I'd make it through really. But overall, I've no regrets...
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 06:22 am (UTC)So, what day do you want people to drop on over? Cause I'm all about it.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 06:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 07:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 07:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 08:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 12:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 10:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-02 04:40 am (UTC)And thanks!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 10:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 07:05 pm (UTC)And yeah, the weight loss thing is an ongoing battle. It's more to do with other health issues, but still. Had to change my eating habits and increase cardio stuff. So. But yeah.
It's weird, there are some things I don't like, but other things that I do. I think it's like everything else, it's a big compromise. :)