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podlingSome people just seem more able to communicate with specific people than others. And I wonder what it is that actually makes this true. What is it that makes a person to person personal translation program less necessary?
For instance, a friend of mine (you know who you are) recently got directions from another friend and got frustrated because one road wasn't described in a way that was very useful to him. Whereas when he said it to me, I just said, "Oh, the road that runs through x town with y on it." and *that* he could understand. So. Is it a shared frame of reference? Does one eventually get to know some people well enough just to somehow know these things? What will work to describe something or what won't? What will get through to someone as opposed to what will just confuse them? Or is it just something that either is there or isn't, like a sexual attraction? Or are some people just more in tune with other people? More observant?
I headed off an argument with my boss the other day by saying, "No, wait, listen, we're not talking about the same thing. This is what you're talking about and this other thing is what I'm talking about and this is why I'm concerned with it." But even 6 months ago, this wouldn't've occurred to me to try with him and it would've just ended up in a fight. So perhaps some of the personal translation lexicon is actually learned through trial and error. Hmmn. Though truthfully, it takes more than just being able to say it, one has to recognize that there is this odd diversion of meanings. Because we were using the same language to describe two items which, while related, are not the same.
And really, isn't that where some of the problems are coming from? Language is imprecise. Communication itself is imprecise. There are shades of meaning in everything. And what means one thing to one person may mean something else completely to another person, depending on any number of factors, some of which can be predicted and others that can't.
For instance, a friend of mine (you know who you are) recently got directions from another friend and got frustrated because one road wasn't described in a way that was very useful to him. Whereas when he said it to me, I just said, "Oh, the road that runs through x town with y on it." and *that* he could understand. So. Is it a shared frame of reference? Does one eventually get to know some people well enough just to somehow know these things? What will work to describe something or what won't? What will get through to someone as opposed to what will just confuse them? Or is it just something that either is there or isn't, like a sexual attraction? Or are some people just more in tune with other people? More observant?
I headed off an argument with my boss the other day by saying, "No, wait, listen, we're not talking about the same thing. This is what you're talking about and this other thing is what I'm talking about and this is why I'm concerned with it." But even 6 months ago, this wouldn't've occurred to me to try with him and it would've just ended up in a fight. So perhaps some of the personal translation lexicon is actually learned through trial and error. Hmmn. Though truthfully, it takes more than just being able to say it, one has to recognize that there is this odd diversion of meanings. Because we were using the same language to describe two items which, while related, are not the same.
And really, isn't that where some of the problems are coming from? Language is imprecise. Communication itself is imprecise. There are shades of meaning in everything. And what means one thing to one person may mean something else completely to another person, depending on any number of factors, some of which can be predicted and others that can't.
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-14 07:06 am (UTC)Sometimes it's a matter of people understanding info in a particular form - eg I hate long driving instructions, unless I get to see them on a map, in which case I can remember them; whereas friend H can only grasp directions as a list of landmarks, maps actively confuse the issue.
And yeah, a lot of it is learning. Because whenever we talk, we assume a whole load of knowledge on the part of the other person (eg, if I call you a bitchwhore, I like you, but if I call you a shit, I don't like you) that they may not actually have, or assume they know what we were thinking about that prompted the apparently-random remark we just made... and stuff.
The Chinese word for stuff, I have established (from Baby General last night), is ti. Unless you're being informal or derogatory, in which case it's dongshi, which literally means east-west (or was that west-east). There y'go. Bet you can feel you communicative abilities growing already...