The Mysterious Expanding Andrea

[podling]

So people keep telling me that I look like I lost weight. This is kind of hard to argue with, since they're not actually saying as an imperative, "YOU lost WEIGHT!" Generally it's just, "you LOOK like blah blah blah." Granted people do gain and lose a little all the time, and women around the time of their periods (or their "cycle" as someone at my work tactfully put it, seriously, I did a double take when they said it) look all bloaty.

Anyway, so I have this theory. I've thought it through for a while. When people haven't seen me in a while, they inflate me in their heads. Not, like, a lot or anything, they don't decide I'm 2 or 3 times as large or anything, but just slightly. They remember me more puffy or something. Ever so slightly larger. So when they see me, they're always surprised and happy for me because they think I'm healthier because I've lost weight, when really, it's all in their heads.

Sample conversation...
Guy: Have you lost weight?
me: Uh, no.
G: You sure?
me: Yeah.
G: But you look skinnier.
me: Are you sure I don't just look more pale? It's winter.

Comments

[tikimama.livejournal.com]

Which is why you should say: "No, actually, I've gained about 15 lbs. But it's all in my tits, so it's great! You look like crap, have you lost weight?"

I strongly dislike people commenting on my appearance, unless it is to praise an outfit.

[crowyhead.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Outfits, yes, weight, no. Hair=good, boob size=bad. *g* By the way, Tikimama, you look frighteningly like my friend Kay in that picture; I think it's the heavy eyeliner and bleach blonde. :)

[pier777.livejournal.com]

I think it's the heavy eyeliner and bleach blonde. :)

*cringes as he imagines the the most feared response ever from Tikimama*

"What do you mean, bleach blond?"

[dangerdean.livejournal.com]

Okay, do you want to come over here and wipe the coffee off my monitor?

[tikimama.livejournal.com]

Are you hitting on me? "Wipe the coffee off my monitor" is a nice euphemism.

[podling]

Yeah, that was the first thing I thought too...

[toratigris.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there's something about "Did you lose weight? You look great!" which implies that you looked bad before. Not the most complimentary thing to say, really, since it's also a backhanded insult.

[juanfandango.livejournal.com]

I permeet all my meenions to say I look wonderful. Those who no theenk I look wonderful, I no permeet them to exeest, for they are obveeeously sadly deeludeed.

[podling]

Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's nice to think that others do appreciate my appearance. But to put it that way, it does make me think, "wow, they thought i was 3 times as large!" or something like that. And I'm not huge, but neither am I small. I can still shop at the Limited when I feel a need for trendoid clothing.

[podling]

I generally say things like that to my family (except my grandmother, for some odd reason). With people at work I usually just go with the 'i-will-strike-you-dead-where-you-stand' look if I feel in any way offended. I mean, honestly, I may have lost weight, but it's not enough to like, go down a clothing size or anything, so I hardly think it counts as something that should ever be noticed. I'd much rather people just stare at the see through shirt and pay attention to the tits really. They're lovely, I'm so glad they're mine.