The recordings

[podling]

Okay, so for the last week or so I've had to update the menu answering machine. Why? Because I speak English well. Or at least, I do until I start recording myself... Anyway, so today was the first day I did it in 1 take! In fact, today was the first day it took me less than 20 to 50 takes. It usually goes like this...

Good... morn... shit *beep*

Good morning! You've reached the cafteria at 72 wall and this is the menu for Wendsday, Sept 30th, I mean, Monday, Monday... fuck. *beep*

Good morning, hehehe, umm, oops... *beep*

The soups today are minestrone and corn chowder and that's the soup, umm, and the main... meat? is umm, sirloin? damn I suck. *beep*

And our special today is silly steak... I mean, Philly, goddammit!!! *beep*

For our sides today, we have California au gratin, umm, cauliflower, oops... *beep*

And our special today is sill... shit. *beep*

Our sides today include Calif... cauliflower, damn... *beep*

Our special sandwich has jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, and remoulade sauce. What the hell is remoulade sauce? oops... *beep*

Good morning, this is... the... cafeter... why the hell do they let me do this??? I ask you why???? *beep*

And we also have po... lent... a. yeah! *beep*

Shit. *beep*

Stop laughing at me! I'm trying to record this. bitchwhores. *beep*

hysterical laughter *beep*

Okay, so that's the menu, umm, bye! *beep*

Uh, have a good day? right. buh-bye! *beep*

damnit!!!! *beep*


The final take is usually underscored by giggling, but you know, it's all good.

Comments

[dslartoo.livejournal.com]

I was almost crying with laughter when I read this because I do the EXACT SAME THING when I am trying to record a new voicemail message at work. Then I have to hurry up and rerecord it because our system doesn't allow you to "discard changes" -- when you rerecord, the rerecording goes into the system immediately. So I have to rush and redo it before somebody calls me up and gets "Hi, this is Phil, I'm either on the phone or....what? Okay, yeah, lunch would be good and GODDAMMIT I forgot I was recording this. FUCK. *beep*".

cheers,
Phil

[podling]

Well, it's one of those things. Everyone does it, but doesn't usually talk about it. I'm glad it's not just me. I think it's partly because I'm *trying* to sound at least sort of professional, and it so just doesn't work because I'm a spaz.

Plus when you get into the giggling fits, it's hard to stop. And then you've already screwed the message up, so you *have* to fix it then, but you can't because you're laughing too hard. And meanwhile, the cafeteria people are walking behind me giggling. The rat bastard goat demons.

Luckily I didn't tell too many people here that it was me doing it this week, or I'm sure I would've heard from the Corporate Affairs people about it. They're the ones with the highly developed sense of humor here.