Trees

[podling]

So last night was supposed to get a little nipply, and I'm aware of how much my coffee plants don't enjoy that, so I decided that it was the time to bring the buggers in. So I did. Oh. my. god. They're 6 1/2 feet tall now. They didn't look that big outside... probably because the ceiling is higher, but oh. No. Really. They only clear the ceiling fan by inches. Light doesn't penetrate through them. Right now they're situated between the couch and the table. So when you're watching tv, they just kind of... loom over you. It's not right. Now I have to find a place for them in my bedroom. I don't see this going well, and I know there will be several nights where I'll wake up and think there's someone else in the room. And that I'll always think it's raining because I'll never see the light from the window again.

Now consider the plight of the rubber tree. It's not as tall, but it's wide. It takes up at least a third of my deck. It has no place to go. It won't fit anywhere. It's still outside, and will be fine out there for a while. I feel bad about leaving it to die, but I'm starting to think there really aren't other solutions. I could maybe bring it to work (though I'm not sure how well that'd go over), if I could borrow a minivan, because it sure as hell won't fit in my car. I could find someone who needs a tree that size, but that's unlikely. It has leaves the size of my HEAD!!! And you know what's sad? I don't water it. I don't fertilize it. In the winter, I don't even give it direct light. I do NOTHING for it and it just keeps getting larger and larger and more monstrous!!! It's like it thrives on my neglect. Maybe it's trying to shove my face in it... "Yeah! You think you can kill me??? I'll grow a leaf as big as your freaking head!!!" So, um, if you know anyone who wants a tree like that, let me know.

Someone asked me what I was thinking when I go these trees. And really, I was thinking two different things... for the coffee plants, "Oh cool! Beans to plant!" and for the rubber tree, "Nifty, I just air-layered a little three leaved plant!" So yeah, they didn't start out monsters. But then, they never do.

Comments

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

I can put this on my LJ and ask if my NJ peeps want your rubber plant.

[podling]

Oh god yes!!! I really hate the thought of my first plant from college dying. I want it to have a good home. Although they need to understand it's large. It probably could use a new larger pot one day too. And it does need to be transported in something other than a car. It does come with wheels though. :)

I would greatly appreciate any help you could give.

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

Consider it done.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

You could take a clipping from it and start the whole thing over again.

[crowyhead.livejournal.com]

If I had anywhere in my apartment that it would be remotely happy, I would take it, but as soon as it got cold it would have nowhere sunny to go. :/

[podling]

It doesn't need sun. I believe it is sometime classified as a low light plant, given how many offices have them, but whatever. I'm not sure how I'd get it to you anyway. :)

[merlin-v12.livejournal.com]

Ever seen that movie "Day of the Triffids"? Sounds like that's what your plants are turning into. . .

[podling]

No! Though I've heard of it. And the plants really might eat you if you actually do visit... you'll be able to experience the horror firsthand...

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

Read it first - the book is fabulous (John Wyndham, by the eay, one of my favourite Golden Age of Sci-Fi).

[khavren.livejournal.com]

You could probably use pvc pipe and clear plastic sheeting to build your own greenhouse on your deck for them.

[podling]

I'm pretty sure the condo association would have me dragged off and shot for that. I mean, there's a list of things you can and can't have, and while a homebuilt greenhouse isn't on either list, I'm pretty sure it's one of those forbidden things. Though if I had a real house I'd do it. :)

[podling]

Heh. :)

Well, they need to go in a window. Technically speaking, there's only room for one in front of the window, but... well, they'll deal. I'll just make sure I rotate them. I did think of putting one in the closet and leaving the light on, but that seemed kind of wrong, as well as making getting dressed problematic.

But seriously, last year I thought there was someone in the room and was all "EEEEKKKK!!!" until I realized it was just the stupid tree.

[betra.livejournal.com]

We will be in our new house in Oct. Maybe we can take one or two of the triffids..and then you can visit them!!

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

I can't remember if the problem is that there's no space in your room but the window, or if the problem is that there's no place with light but your window, but you could maybe get them a grow lamp?

Also, I think maybe the rubber tree is your soulmate.

[sidruid.livejournal.com]

I think you may need to figure out how to cut back the coffee trees. As for the rubber tree, i second the idea of taking a clipping or two then sending it away.