(no subject)

[podling]

So I was talking to someone about BDS&M stuff the other day... actually mostly just about bondage. And at some point I said that I think most people are a little bit attracted (or turned on, more like) to a small amount of it. Not necessarily in a way that would be expressed regularly, but just kind of in the back of the mind.

Anyway, talking to tanaise about it, she said this... "And I think that probably everyone has a little S/M side to themselves because everyone simultaneously wants completely control of their lives and total bossing about by someone else." And I think she makes a valid point...

Comments

[tikimama.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm, I don't know. Co-dependent relationships are so deceptive--one partner appears to be helpless (against the other's drinking/abuse/whatever) but they really aren't. They are really in control of setting the one and rhythm of the relationship. They control the other person, very passive-aggresively.

Of course, a lot of people claim the same things about the sub--that they are the one in control of the encounter, not the dom. It does seem more straightforward to me--both sides are in a particular role, they know what is expected of them. There cannot be much manipulation, therefore.

I would think that a person who is a co-dependent would want to be the dom, just to get a taste of the other side.