(no subject)

[podling]

So I was talking to someone about BDS&M stuff the other day... actually mostly just about bondage. And at some point I said that I think most people are a little bit attracted (or turned on, more like) to a small amount of it. Not necessarily in a way that would be expressed regularly, but just kind of in the back of the mind.

Anyway, talking to tanaise about it, she said this... "And I think that probably everyone has a little S/M side to themselves because everyone simultaneously wants completely control of their lives and total bossing about by someone else." And I think she makes a valid point...

Comments

[tikimama.livejournal.com]

I think all relationships are about power. The give, the take, etc. All the rest of the trappings--love, lust, companionship--are subsets of a power exchange. Not romantic, but there you go.

C & I are pretty vanilla all around, I think. We've dabbled in play, but mostly I just feel silly and not particularily titilated by it.

I've had unequal relationships before. I dislike them. I want to respect the person I'm with, and have them respect me. I think it is more difficult for a woman to get that--men are so taught to protect women. Ugh. If a guy tried to step into to "protect" me, I'd get so pissed. C is my partner, I expect him to be my backup, and I'm his. But he doesn't fight for me. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Mostly. Except when I get into fights in public.

But, you know, that's what *I* want from a relationship. And I get it. Whatever anyone else wants from a relationship, I dearly hope they get it. No judgement. Well, that's not entirely true. But I'm not going to stand in the way of them getting it, or condemn them. But I do have to judge through the lens of my experience.