(no subject)

[podling]

So I was talking to someone about BDS&M stuff the other day... actually mostly just about bondage. And at some point I said that I think most people are a little bit attracted (or turned on, more like) to a small amount of it. Not necessarily in a way that would be expressed regularly, but just kind of in the back of the mind.

Anyway, talking to tanaise about it, she said this... "And I think that probably everyone has a little S/M side to themselves because everyone simultaneously wants completely control of their lives and total bossing about by someone else." And I think she makes a valid point...

Comments

[podling]

And... though this isn't really related, but kind of is. The guy I was talking to about it said something like this to me, "So, you'd let someone tie you up? I mean, couldn't that turn bad?" and I was just like, "I don't let people that I don't trust touch me really. I certainly wouldn't let them tie me up." And that's the truth of it for me. I might or might not let someone tie me, but it sure as hell would only even be an *option* with someone I trusted.

One of the guys at work told me he could easily see me as a sub, even though I think for the most part I'm dominant in most non-erotic situations. And I don't know that he's right, but there could be something to it. But then again, I do work in a service department too (though I refrain from saying "I live to serve" for the most part, okay, once in a while I say that jokingly, but still).

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

No, that's totally related, you're right. It's even more of a trust issue than normal sex is. Especially for someone like me, who can't safeword and therefore has to be carefully monitored... and I've done stuff like breathplay. So to have a guy put his hands around your throat and squeeze... yeah. Literally putting your life in someone's hands. And part of why I do this is the completeness of the surrender. The fullness of the trust.

And yeah, people who have dominant roles in everyday life to tend to be sub in the sack. :)

[deza.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, I thought I was the only person who did that! But yeah, you have to have faith in the person you're with.

I've been in a situation where the stopword was ignored. It is not pleasant. Not pleasant at all.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Silly deza, if you were the only one who did it, they wouldn't have a name for it, would they? :)

About the ignoring the stopword: You need to have a better screening process in place. Seriously. Have me interview your men or something. You should never be with someone who'll ignore your safeword...

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[deza.livejournal.com]

Well, this guy was bad for me all around. He's the same one who managed to fracture two vertabrae in my neck one night.

And he'll be at D*C. Whoo.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Dude. Point him out to me. My boys will take care of him.

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[deza.livejournal.com]

You'll laugh when you see him. He's the original 98 lb weakling. It's amazing what leverage and emotional control will let you accomplish.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Heh. You should know that I, of all people, do not underestimate strength based on size... :)

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[deza.livejournal.com]

Too true, oh Force of Nature. ;)