(no subject)

[podling]

Okay, so I watched Before Sunset again today. I love this movie, I seriously do. Loved it even more the second time. I mean, I wanted to see it when first I heard of it, and I liked Before Sunrise but… I don’t know, I didn’t expect to really love it. Something about it just strikes me. Went out and got it the day it came out on DVD, and oh my. It speaks to me. Much of it is things I have/would say in my own life. And I recognize the striving… the wanting of intimacy maybe? I don’t know. I could express it, but it’s easier in person. The odd thing is that I know no one else who’s seen it. I know what, one person on LJ who has. And I want to talk about it!

Anyway, it made me think, as it did last time, and probably will each time I watch it. Thinking about what I actually want out of relationships, out of love, out of life. It’s like I know what pieces are good, but the puzzle is incomplete. It’s easier to say what you don’t want. I don’t want to be marginalized, I don’t want it to be an inherently unequal thing where one person is so into it and happy, and the other just… isn’t. I don’t want what my parents have, just no. But if that is the major basis for my own relationships, am I going to end up going that way anyway? I want connection, is that so much to ask? But maybe it is, maybe I only imagine that it can be there, that there can be deep connections that way. Maybe movies and books and such make it seem like it’s possible. But does anyone ever consider what happens after the end? Perhaps I’m just pessimistic, but it seems that a lot of romantic comedies fuel the romance with conflict, then poof! Everything is good. Everyone is happy. So what? The conflict goes away? The people are changed? People change constantly in some ways, but not in others. (Incidentally, Before Sunset was not like that, everyone should watch it, truly)

So I sit here after watching this movie, thinking various thoughts... Can/do people have that kind of connection in real life? I take it for granted that they do, but will I ever? Mysteries of life, I suppose.

Comments

[podling]

Well, yeah, but then there's also the side where I break up with people because we have so little in common that I feel it's hard to keep conversation going. I mean, honestly, I don't think I could ever know someone without being annoyed by them at times, or feel hurt by them other times, or all the other negative emotions associated with being close to someone. But it would be nice once in a while to have the good parts of relationships too though. And it's weird, because I don't think there is a "one" for anyone, I think people fit differently together at different times and that's all well and good except that I don't fit. Sorry, I'm in a whiny mood tonight. I do hear what you're saying though. :)

[laurasaurora.livejournal.com]

one other point that i was thinking about later was that knowing the practical side of people first might help in determining whether or not you want to pursue a deeper connection with someone. and yeah, there are negative emotions associated with being close to someone, just the way it is, but then there are the good times too. i don't think jeff is the "one" and i do get annoyed and hurt by him at times, but it just goes with the turf, and overall, we're a good fit. and alot of it is just having some plain ol' faith in the relationship, i guess. :P