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I have nothing truly interesting to say... I'm up too late, I'm all soft and ready for bed, but wound a bit too tight to really sleep for no good reason. I know I'll be hating myself for it in the morning though. A lot.
Work was alright, I worked late, but I may have managed to be productive, which is kind of surprising. I also fixed a problem that didn't really involve me, but that I could figure out more quickly than the people it did directly involve. And that was a cool feeling, even if it was seemingly useless from a job description sort of thing. I like being useful.
So I'm torn between wanting to see and hang out with my friends all the time and wanting to hide in my house by myself and pretend the world isn't there. And really, the hiding thing only occurs to me when I wake up and don't want to get out of bed, for the most part. But also I keep wondering about my friends, about whether or not I actually have things in common with many of them, or if it's just the weight of years and all the past that draws us together. Does that ever get to a point where it just doesn't make sense? Maybe I'm looking for a deeper connection occasionally that just isn't there. Maybe I really have more in common than I think. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing it in my overtired state.
So anyway, I've been reading 'A Kiss of Shadows' on the bus to work lately (kindly lent to me by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jennywrenn). Faerie porn!!! So some guy sitting next to me was trying to read it without looking like he was trying to read it the other day. It was in the middle of a sex scene (though not one with the word 'tentacles' in it), and I noticed the guy looking, so I shifted the book, tilted it slightly away, and he tried to shift with it. And that was just odd, I'm sitting there thinking, "okay, this guy is trying to read my faerie porn, should I make it easier for him? or should I pretend I haven't noticed and keep reading?" Luckily the next stop was his, so I didn't have to ponder too long.
And I spend way too much time thinking about flooring for the new place. I hate having to consider options, decision making is annoying. I want to be a sheep and follow my flock. I'd like my flock to provide for me and have nice hardwood flooring though.
I really want to go surf kayaking soon. Actually, I really want to go tomorrow (or would that be today), but reality is something i have to keep in mind here. Maybe soon. Hopefully. Really.
Work was alright, I worked late, but I may have managed to be productive, which is kind of surprising. I also fixed a problem that didn't really involve me, but that I could figure out more quickly than the people it did directly involve. And that was a cool feeling, even if it was seemingly useless from a job description sort of thing. I like being useful.
So I'm torn between wanting to see and hang out with my friends all the time and wanting to hide in my house by myself and pretend the world isn't there. And really, the hiding thing only occurs to me when I wake up and don't want to get out of bed, for the most part. But also I keep wondering about my friends, about whether or not I actually have things in common with many of them, or if it's just the weight of years and all the past that draws us together. Does that ever get to a point where it just doesn't make sense? Maybe I'm looking for a deeper connection occasionally that just isn't there. Maybe I really have more in common than I think. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing it in my overtired state.
So anyway, I've been reading 'A Kiss of Shadows' on the bus to work lately (kindly lent to me by
jennywrenn). Faerie porn!!! So some guy sitting next to me was trying to read it without looking like he was trying to read it the other day. It was in the middle of a sex scene (though not one with the word 'tentacles' in it), and I noticed the guy looking, so I shifted the book, tilted it slightly away, and he tried to shift with it. And that was just odd, I'm sitting there thinking, "okay, this guy is trying to read my faerie porn, should I make it easier for him? or should I pretend I haven't noticed and keep reading?" Luckily the next stop was his, so I didn't have to ponder too long. And I spend way too much time thinking about flooring for the new place. I hate having to consider options, decision making is annoying. I want to be a sheep and follow my flock. I'd like my flock to provide for me and have nice hardwood flooring though.
I really want to go surf kayaking soon. Actually, I really want to go tomorrow (or would that be today), but reality is something i have to keep in mind here. Maybe soon. Hopefully. Really.
